Souled out

Fourth of July while everyone was heading down my way to the shore we headed their way to the city. I tend to flock away from the crowd. We went on a whim to go see Conor Oberst and the Mystic Valley Band and the ever so beautiful Jenny Lewis play for free might I add in Battery park. One helluva a time. Caught some traditional 4th of July hamburgers at my favorite diner in the city, Good Stuff on 14th and 7th then trecked back to Penn Station for our lovely 2 hour train ride home. The second we pulled out of Penn Station we were greeted by fireworks lighting up the entire sky as we went from town to town. Terrific ending to a lovely day. Went back to Connors for wine and Benjamin Button and then passed out there from exhaustion. Tonight, Myself, Connor, and Sam went to Kayas Kitchen for some Hummus and Karma Wings which is buffalo sauced tofu. Nom nom nom. Then went to Point Pleasant to walk the boardwalk for a bit and drank coffee at OB diner which we ended up sitting at for an hour swamping hysterical lush stories. Friday night is mewithoutYOU and The Dear Hunter at the Bowery and I haven't been so excited in quite some time. I wish this summer would never end and we could just surround ourselves with eachother every second of everyday. Were going to be scatterplotted all over the map in just a little less then two months. Brand New really had it right when they wrote "Soco Amaretto Lime". Been singing that song for five years and now I really know the significance.

Michael Jackson ghost sighting in Neverland?

http://www.hispanicbusiness.com/news/2009/7/7/ghost_of_michael_jackson_caught_on.htm

Couple of neat photo finds.

Mikael Kennedy Photography, so peaceful.

A year ago tomorrow I would be leaving for the Bahamas.

Took this puppies on a throw a way camera

Time casts a spell on you, but you won't forget me.

Today I leave for orientation with my best friend Nikki and my mother. The first time we went to Rhode Island in the Spring we listened to Fleetwood Mac the entire trip. I'm positive we will be rehasing that today. I really am rather nervous/excited. Each day it keeps hitting me that one day down, is one day closer to college and I'm not going to lie, I will miss my hometown and my friends so dearly. But today at least I get to meet some people who are majoring in the same field as me and walk around the cutesy Providence! I just know that none of these people will ever compare to the friends that I have now. So Michael Jackson died on Friday and the world is going topsy turvey over it. I mean did we all forget that he molested little boys? and looks like a complete and total lunatic? or did I concoct that theory in my head? Farrah Faucet died the same day and no one is giving the woman who was gorgeous and battled with cancer for a long time any recognition. Poor poor Farrah. Anywhos I found great pictures around the web this morning.

She lives on Tisbury Lane.

Jersey Shore is having a rain delay for this summer. Mother Nature stop being a bitch and give us back Mr.Golden Sun, I want to stop looking like Casper. Tons and tons and tons of changes and my head is going to fall off. High school graduate, 3 months till college, friends are becoming distant. Life feels good some days then others feels like i'm going to sink into my bed. I really just want to enjoy life here in New Jersey before I leave for Rhode Island three days after my 18th birthday. So this is the daily blog countdown till College. I want to make a list of everything I want to accomplish this summer. Tons of DIY's and NOOOOO DWI's. Only problem is my two best friends are closed minded and feel the A.C. is better then the natural summer breeze or doing anything artisitc. I'm not wasting my summer. I will not be that girl.

I wanna go on a picnic

and kiss in the rain

Warning.

I suggest we learn to love ourselves

before it's made illegal.

When will we learn?

When will we change?

Just in time to see it all come down...

Those left standing will make millions

Writing books on the way it should have been

I cleaned out my cd cabinet in my room today.

Found that Incubus song that I would play repetitively on one of my old mixes.

You don't understand how excited old music makes me.

It's so funny how much I miss and love all this musical craziness.

Since my iTrip broke and I purchased an iTouch that wasn't even compatible too it

(my horoscope told me that night i got home with my iTouch that I was going to make an impulsive buy that i'll later soon regret. ha yeah.)

I need to put my cd player into use so these mixes will be lovely this week.

anywho last Friday my best friend Nikki and I went to the City to go to a Hookah bar

sheesh the City is really cracking down on underage peoplesss going into their bars.

Took us forever to find a place that didn't i.d. me or just didn't give a shit.

but anyway we caught the train in Matawan and it was packed so we had to squeeze in with a woman who was sitting by herself. She had a two torn shoulders so I helped her load her suitcase onto the overhead but there was no way she was lifting that herself. I found out that she actually lived in Brick (same as me) and normally catches the train from Manasquan. She was hysterical and very insightful. We talked about drugs, life, culture, and heritage. Then about a half hour into the conversation she told us she was really good at guessing peoples horoscopes so on the first shot she got mine and Nikkis. She told me from the second I helped her she knew I was a Virgo and that I'm the kinda person who is so a head of everyone else but would give someone the shirt off my back any day. She was right. I love how I can just start up conversation with anyone, not to mention she was meeting her son who is a model so we got to meet hands down the most gorgeous boy that I have ever seen. It was quite a night.

In the words of Forgive Durden

.....................Lifes finally looking up.

One of my old photographs.

My beauty supreme,

Yeah you were right about me. Can I get myself back from underneath this guilt that will crush me? And in the choir I saw our sad messiah; He was bored and tired of my laments. Said,
"I'd die for you one time but never again." Never again. Never again.



Thesethingshappensometimes.

I can dish out, but I can't take it.

I donated blood yesterday
They told me "good job kid you saved three lives today"
Skipped a few classes so I could "rest" but neglected to eat.
But you know me, I'm invincible to any situation and knew I'd be "fine"
I drove home from school, Camel in hand, Radio blowin' out the speakers
Came home to console my aunt who is going through an abrupt and sudden divorce
when all of a sudden everything went blurred
and a minute later I awoke to myself lying on my kitchen floor
and my aunt screaming my sisters name.
I passed out from lack of sugar.
If this happened five minutes earlier when I was driving,
I probably wouldn't be telling you this story today.
Guess I'm not that invincible anymore.

I've been doing a lot of rhyming lately
I am drawn to the lyrical rhythmmmmmm

In these parts I thought we'd never see leaves again.
Windows are being rolled down welcoming the warm breeze with open arms.
Bare arms, white from being hidden from winters cold.
Its the cutting of the red bow, the grand entrance to days that define life here on the shoreline.
Days aren't like they were though.
We move the clocks ahead an hour and days seem like they are flying by.
My youth is like sand running through an hourglass.
Half empty.
Future hanging over our heads and each recent event makes it seem so much closer.
It's here, in a few months we'll walk onto the stage of reality.
We'll throw our hats along with our memories.
We'll say our goodbyes and shed some tears and the next day it will all be cleaned up
and life will go on as if that night never happened.
We'll feel like strangers each time we come home.
So for now we just have to love and let love
before time tramples over us and were just apart of that
"high school story"

Take cold showers every day, and throw my life away.

I'm at my best friends house while she is recooperating and napping from the ridiculous night we had last night. Oh, how I love being a crazy teenager. I'm sitting on her chair and enjoying a bowl of Special K and watching Grease. I still can sit and sing every word to that movie.

It's crazy how leather jackets and leather/lamme leggings are in again.

We are in a state of flux.

February 24 2009 is National ihop free pancake giveaway day!

I'm thrilled that I don't have work on Tuesday so I attend this year.

Pancakes are my weakness and since I've been strictly dieting and working out

I figured I could treat myself to pancakes :]

"Beauty comes to those who have been waiting

for something bigger then themselves."

The world forgetting, by the world forgot. Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind

CD of the Morning: The Bird and the Bee

I came across this article http://news.aol.com/health/article/pill-erases-bad-memories/345362 about these pills that erase bad memories. I automatically thought of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, one of my favorite movies of all time. Even though the operation to erase the heartbroken and sorrows minds could never happen, these little pills could be one's own escape from their troubles. But I always learned that we grow from our mistakes and bad times, so if we erase them how could we grow? Anyway it makes me think what the hell will they come out with next?

Someone needs to help me think of ideas that will convince my mother into letting me go to Bonaroo. I understand I'm only 17! but I mean I am graduating this year and I think this could be a test of trust and confidence and the first mature thing I will do on my own. Myself and five friends would hop in my van and caravan with some other friends! I mean what else could kick off the summer? Plus we would leave the day after graduation. Well considering I'm a Jersey Girl and Bonaroo takes place in Tennessee the drive could be a bit intimidating, and well it is called the "dirty south" for a reason. I'm just crossing my fingers she'll give in, and soon!

So last night I came home from work and I couldn't keep my eyes open, they were glazed over, my head and ears were throbbing and I know mono is going around so this morning when I slept through my 6:05 alarm, 6:22, 6:34, and then my door knocks and my mom told me just to stay in because I look like death which sucks because I need to go to the gym and I had plans to go to a basketball game this afternoon! but here I am enjoying the peace and quiet of my home and having the day to myself. I always always always let my days off slide by but today I got started off with a fresh pot of coffee and I'm finally blogging again so this is perfect!

My computer graphics project this month is to create your own comic strip so I found a bunch of great pictures of Kate Moss (she kinda reminds me of Betty from the Betty and Veronica comic strip, so hopefully I can make it creative and fun, my teacher always expects nothing but great from my work.

Real life "Day After Tomorrow"

Soooo apparently I've been living under a rock and didn't know anything about this apocalypse thats supposed to happen on December 21 2012! It would be my Dads 44th Birthday! So expect tsunamis and earthquakes from coast to coast and ocean to ocean. This frenzy, whether it's real or just a hoax, makes me start to want living more. I really want to travel. My friends and I are planning a trip to Boston. I mean were all 17 so technically were not legally supposed to drive out of state or drive with more than one person in the car, but we tend to break the rules anyway. Were also planning to hop on a plane this summer and go to California but I don't want to get ahead of myself.

Call me your Valentine, call me once tonight

Well since this year I'm going on my religious retreat, Kairos, with a group of people from my senior class from February 10th to the 13th I will some what forget that once again, I will be alone this funny little holiday. But here are some cute ideas for Valentines day!

Coming out Friday February 13th!

Your own bloody Valentine cupcakes!

If you think cutesy pink Valentine cupcakes are too sentimental and passé then wait until you check out these Bleeding Heart cupcakes. Instead of being cutesy hearts, they're almost gruesome, and the best part is that they actually bleed jam!

Valentines day Sun catchers

What you'll need:
Pattern (see below)
Drinking straw
Clear plastic lanyard (Rexlace)
Scissors
54 pink transparent beads (7mm)
36 red transparent beads (7mm)
Tacky glue
Suction cup (with a hook or with a slit)

How to make it:
Cut strips of clear Rexlace, one for every row in the pattern, that are 10 inches long.
Fold each strip of clear Rexlace in half so that they curve towards each other. (Rexlace has a natural curl in it.)
Fold each strip around the straw and string the beads over both layers of clear Rexlace in the order the beads go on the pattern. Do 1 column at a time.
After each column is finished, tie a knot at the end.
Put a drop of tacky glue in each knot to help it stay.
Let all of the knots dry and then cut off the extra clear Rexlace at the ends.
Trim the straw so that it is a little longer than the suncatcher on both ends.
Run a piece of Rexlace through the straw and make a loop to hang the suncatcher from. Tie a knot at the end and put a drop of glue in the knot.
Hang it from the suction cup and enjoy!

Flowers that will never die! Bouquet of tissue paper flowers. Cute for honeys to make together.

I've been in love with Marilyn Monroe lately! She was just so chic

I made this little collaboration in Computer Graphics yesterday of her!

Musics the only thing that makes sense anymore, play loud enough ,it keeps the demons at bay

"But it's just a technicolor world we live in darling.
It's only lyrics and chords and the woes of heartache spewing through a microphone" he said. "Thats the beauty of it all" she replied. "The great heartache of the 21st century.
The foundation of our cds, our speakers, our radios, our iPods, that stream into our ears causing our brains to react in all different ways.
It's the anticipation of that well thought out mixtape you were just given.
Maybe I'm just crazy or maybe its the melody that causes me to beat to my own drum
but it's like when you're laying in bed or in a car full of friends or smitten by another
and you hit shuffle and that one song comes on, you know that one where you unknowingly make it louder, and theres a silent hum for two seconds then it all clicks in unison.
It's the words we wish we could've said but didn't know how to structure into a sentence.
It's the headphones delivering mental photographs in your mind.
It's that song that when you play it again it brings you back to that significant moment in time. The great heartache of a musician whose lyrics are carefully stitched together thoughts that all relate to us. It's what makes music come alive, the people around us, they are music.
They are the basis to the lyrics that we see written down on paper.
They are each letter, each word, each chorus.
We are the people they are aching over. We are the "he" or "she" that they are singing too.
I know you're at a loss for words but maybe thats the start to your own music,
an instrumental. A drum, a guitar, a keyboard.
Just waiting to be held and played. Aren't we all just like that in some way or another?"
He blankly stared and didn't even realize
his hand reaching to turn up the radio
because on came the song that made him think of her.


Ten minutes of my thoughts put in story form.

I'm looking for someone with binoculars so I don't have to get so close, because that's when the most casualties arise

You spend most of your life figuring out your dreams. You spend the other half dreaming of what you're trying to figure out in life. You're stuck in two worlds, wishing one day you'll forget which is which and realize that your dream is reality.

I just wrote that. It's basically how I feel this past week. Haven't updated much because I've been under a lot of stress and setbacks and pressure. I want one thing in life but my luck and talent I feel will never get me to where I truly want to be. My unsupportive friends hold me back thinking that my photography is just a "hobby" and "pointless career choice" Maybe they're right. Even though today I changed my best friend Nikkis mind when she actually held my Nikon D40 in her hands and took the time to look at my pictures and realize my passion with it all. We went to Bradley Beach and Asbury and took photos down in that area. Those towns are always stereotyped as "the ghetto" but it was so vintage and quaint. We had such a great time blasting the Across the Universe soundtrack, which I haven't dusted off in a while, enjoying the sun, and the beach (even though it was cold). I'm really going to miss all of this next year. Friends and hang outs and driving around endlessly to wherever the hell I want to go and having no limits, nothing holding us back, just enjoying eachothers company all day every day. High school was such a blast for me and it's not that far from being over. Nostalgia is in full bloom and I can't help but to think back to sophomore year when everything was so easy and perfect. For now I'm going to sit back and watch Across the Universe and think back to last year when my ex best friend Jill and I totally adored this movie and took the "hippie" approach to living. I go through fads like their going out of style, oh wait thats what a fad is! Anyway, I'll post some pictures of my photos from today.

She & Him.

So today I found out the most joyous but very heart breaking (on my end) news. Ben Gibbard and Zooey Deschanel are engaged to be married! Not only are they my two favorites ever, but I am madly in love with Ben Gibbard. If anyone knows, Death Cab For Cutie is my complete and total obsession, and I am smitten and turn to mush over any of his lyrics, he's just a musical genius and I always said I will meet him and marry him and he will write a song for me. But I guess she beat me to the chase, who can blame him? Shes gorgeous, has the best style, great voice, and seems witty and full of personality. I really hope they make a cd together, that would be the best little creation to ever be made.

More in music;

City and Colour is playing tonight at Bowery Ballroom. Why am I not there!? instead I'm settling for my limewire versions of all his songs tonight and pretending I'm watching his beauty on stage while I'm in awe in the crowd. The cd Bring Me Your Love is one of my top ten most played, it's just wonderful and in my eyes, extremely moving. Lead by Alexisonfires old front man, Dallas Green, City and Colour received one of the iTunes best of 2008. I highly recommend his songs, Sleeping Sickness, Confessions, The Girl, Constant Knot, and Caseys Song. They're most likely my favorites throughout the entire cd. I catch myself listening to them repetitively.

I've been listening to a lot of Sigur Ros lately as well. I mean how could you not like a band who sing in basic gibberish? Vonlenska is a term used to describe the gibberish sung by the band in particular Birgisson. It is also commonly known by the English translation of its name, Hopelandic. It takes its name from “Von”, a song on Sigur Rós’s debut album Von where it was first used. Really interesting and unique music. I just enjoy every second.

And last night I saw a new trailer for Milk, even though I saw the movie already already, I fall in love with James Franco every time I see him. My friend Connor told he that James Franco is a homosexual today though? Of course that doesn't change my outlook on him at all, but I'm just curious to know if this is true? I will dig deeper.

Guesss whose back, back again.

Tony Almeida! In the last season of 24 we were lead to believe that he was stabbed and killed in CTU headquarters, but as 24 never fails to keep us in amaze and on our toes they brought all our jaws to the floor when in the first few minutes of the 2 hour premeire they revealed that he is alive and say whaaaa!? one of those bad guys! I'm a huge 24 nerd and the anticipation of the show has been nail biting but it's back, and just as good as its always been! Anywho I've been a busy bee lately between worshipping the treadmille and midterm reviews and enjoying the company of friends, new and old, I've had no time to update Talking Bird, but I guess I'm back too.

I ordered these bad boys last night! It was a must because it basically sums up my life onto a pair of undies.

I've also come to the conclusions that tomorrow during some boring class tomorrow I'm going to think up of some good photo shoots since I've been slacking in that department and I simply will not stand for it anymore. Plus I got the new Free People spring collection and it just inspired me for some outdoorsy nature like shots, than I remembered oh right its 20 degrees outside. But look at these cuties. It sucks because they're 128 dollars (which I expected since it is Free People) but I haven't been working much hours because of this economic crisis no one wants clothes, especially Old Navys, so my hours have been SHAAAT.

A Beautiful Revolution

Today wasn't too eventful, but it sure was nice.
Went to school, and was informed that my computer graphics project has been entered into a Brookdale Spring Art Show, and I will get to present it! I thought it was exciting. All my hard work is finally paying off! Anyway, I went to Rachels right after school, her myself and Mak played Apples to Apples, hysterical little game and it was ironic since I was eating an apple while playing this cute game. Then myself and Rae Rae went for a drive and she gave me my Christmas gift, the Sigur Ros cd! and 25 iTunes gift card to buy more beautiful music! Such thoughtful gifts that I sure will be getting use out of. I then went to the gym for a good 2 hours, bought some clearance tights, flannel dress, and undies at Target than made myself a Lean Cusine and watched some Girl,Interrupted. I really do enjoy the little things.

Downtown scene; ttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JyW1smKgJF8

I came across this website today, A Beautiful Revolution, started by Andre Jordan.

It's a bunch of little cute messages and what not and I find it just darling.

In with the new and the old.

Don't you just love this stuff. So quaint and elegant. For my Computer Graphics class my friends Sarah, Hannah, and myself are making an ad for "our" Roaring 20's boutique. I'll be taking a picture of Sarah in this awesome dress she bought. With this adorable flapper head piece that I had from Halloween. Then making it look all film grained and vintage.



SPACE15TWENTY
A new retail experiment in Hollywood, CA, Space 15 Twenty creates an opportunity for Urban Outfitters to collaborate with creative brands we find inspiring and interesting.A courtyard leads from each store to an outdoor performance space and adjoining gallery. Both of which encourage designers and artists to become part of a curated environment. Working with neighboring music, film and art establishments, both courtyard and adjoining gallery will present a rotating cast of local musicians and artists.The Urban Outfitters store will feature one-off installations by a new designer every few months. Alongside the 11,000 square foot Urban Outfitters store, Space 15 Twenty will host a selection of vendors. The revolving brands utilizing these spaces will reflect and compliment Urban Outfitters and present our customers with an overarching view of people and brands which are excited to be aligned with.

I sure know where I'm going this summer!

Today was interesting to say the least, I don't know who to trust, I don't know what to think and I don't know who to rely on anymore. A piece of me misses him so much when stuff like this happens and I wish I could just crawl up to him and have him promise that everything will be okay. But I then I become a deer in headlights and snap back and realize, that isn't no where near a possiblity. My friends are sketchy, not all of them, but some. I end up hurting the ones who care about me the most (way to go me) Oh, 2009 I don't know how to handle you yet.

So pack a change of clothes cause it's time to move on.

I swiped my card for the first time at Retro gym today, and let me tell you it felt great to work out again, I still got it in me, I didn't think I was going to be able to hold up from smoking and not excerising in months, but I did. I am on this whole "I need to focus on myself" kick, and at first it might seem kind of selfish, but it's what I need to do right now. Put every one aside and concentrate on myself.

So I added more to my New Years resolution list.

1) Dispose of anyone who has brought bad things to my life. Including liars, fakes, sketchballs, tools, and anything of that matter.

2) Make at least one person smile or feel good about themselves once a day

3) Plan more day trips and such.

4) Open up to new people

5) Notice the little things, and document them.

6) Buy a planner/journal/

7) Go to the gym at LEAST 4 times a week.

8) Hug each of my family members at least once a day

9) Buy great novelty/thrift items

10) Dance under street lights with a cute boy, make him a mix tape, go on a night picnic with him, build a tent with him, and of course a good round of hide and seek.

11) Buy every Death Cab album (I already gots 5)

12) Be open to different ideas, places, subjects.

13) Start a garden

14) Make a nice sit down dinner for my friends

15) Then have a dressed up tea party

16) Go to a NYC strung out party

17) Collect Cameos

18) Try all cultural foods

19) Eat at a chinese restaraunt where you sit on the floor

20) Twirl around in a sun dress on a hot summers right when the sun is setting in a sunflower field

I probably could go on for hours with them but these are my top 20's. Speaking of the 20's, I've grown quite an infatuation for that decade. Flappers and the style and the old sweet talkin' men. It was so quaint. Plus now at Urban they have shoes and dresses and fringed tops just like the 20's, I'm going to have to invest myself in them uglys, once I get to my goal weight of course.

So I've been doing a lot of future thinking. I just can't wait any longer to get my own apartment, as much as I love the comfort of my home I've been on this whole design kick. I either want to do every room a different city or a different generation. It's little things like these that get me so excited to grow up, yet at the same time I still act and long to do things little kids do. Like my love for still catching fire flies and blowing up balloons, and lame-o stuff like that.

So this is the New Year, and I don't feel any different.

I always set big goals for New Years. The usual, some not so usual. But this year I'm just keeping it simple. I'm joining a gym, I quitting my nicotine addiction... and some others, I'm going to get off of my ass and do something with my life, start a book and photo collection, plan day trips, learn the value of a dollar. The little things go a long way. I spent the New Years Eve with my two best friends and we drank champagne and Nikki was the bartender mixing us all sorts of concuctions. It was a fabulous time, we had a snow fight, and sang karaoke, danced, and watched the ball drop. Afterwards we stumbled apon a Dashboard Confessional concert at Madison Square Garden and listening to the soothing voice of Chris Carraba sing us to sleep. As for this morning we woke upto 18 degree weather and voted that yoga pants, tons of coffee, and Honeymooner re-runs would be the perfect way to spend the first day of the biggest year of our lives. Sometime this weekend I'm having a few friends over for flavored hot chocolate, smores, and sitting around the fire place for what we will be calling "The Burning of 20h8" We'll be writing all the things we hated about 2008 and burning it into the fire place to be left to ashes. I'm such a dork for coming up with this idea, but I love stuff like this. I'm always the plan maker of the group, i just don't want to miss a thing. One of the first things I did today was go straight to TimeMag.com for the best and worsts of '08.

http://www.time.com/time/specials/2008/top10

TOP PHOTOS OF 2008

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